So, we have all been there, on the receiving end of unreasonable behaviour from another person; be it lover, relative, friend, customer etc\u2026 When I deliver a Coping with Stress session, for PhD researchers, I focus on the fact that we always have ultimate control over our own feelings and responses to the behaviour of others. Essentially, this is the principle that one person can only upset another, if the latter allows it to happen.
\nAs a PhD student, your relationship with your supervisors is key to the management of both your research project and your daily existence. Similarly, when in employment, relationships with colleagues are key to both long term job happiness and daily happiness. If we consider that we spend a significant amount of our week with work colleagues these relationships are of some significance in our lives.
\nPsychologists talk about the \u201cTheory of Behavioural Consistency\u201d, or in plain English the idea that our past behaviour is the best predictor of our future behaviour. Whilst it is so easy to focus on the behaviour of others, aggression, passive-aggression, irrationality, unreliability; these are all things we cannot control. We can control our own responses to the behaviour of others. We can control our own behaviour at all times.
\nSome questions we might all consider:
\n\u2022 Do I listen actively to others?
\n\u2022 If I am in a conversation with someone am I: a) really listening to what they are saying? b) thinking what I might say next to make myself appear clever? c) thinking about what I am having for dinner?
\n\u2022 Do I have the confidence to ask a colleague or my supervisor about how my behaviour impacts them.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
So, we have all been there, on the receiving end of unreasonable behaviour from another person; be it lover, relative, friend, customer etc\u2026 When I deliver a Coping with Stress session, for PhD researchers, I focus on the fact that we always have ultimate control over our own feelings and responses to the behaviour of […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":206,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2,3,4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-124","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-careers","category-postgraduate","category-research"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/staffblogs.le.ac.uk\/pgrcareers\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/124","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/staffblogs.le.ac.uk\/pgrcareers\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/staffblogs.le.ac.uk\/pgrcareers\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/staffblogs.le.ac.uk\/pgrcareers\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/206"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/staffblogs.le.ac.uk\/pgrcareers\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=124"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/staffblogs.le.ac.uk\/pgrcareers\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/124\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":127,"href":"https:\/\/staffblogs.le.ac.uk\/pgrcareers\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/124\/revisions\/127"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/staffblogs.le.ac.uk\/pgrcareers\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=124"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/staffblogs.le.ac.uk\/pgrcareers\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=124"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/staffblogs.le.ac.uk\/pgrcareers\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=124"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}